Susan Lee's Musings

AMBIDEXTROSITY

I have been thinking about Moms and of course, my Mom, and what makes her special to me, since it is Mother’s Day and the time for that type of reflection.  It may sound incongruous, but the thing that comes to mind, is that my Mom is the first person I ever knew that was ambidextrous.  I do not mean that she can sign her name with either hand, though she might have that ability, (I have never asked), but I am speaking of a deeper ambidextrosity of spirit, heart and most importantly, of soul.

In my young life, my Mom was like watching a beautiful whirlwind to me; the enthusiastic Room Mother to all four daughter’s Elementary classrooms at the same time, every year.  She could multitask between: coordinating chaperones for an eighth grade dance, catering a full-blown Luau in one fifth-grade classroom, (including teaching everyone how to do the ‘Hukilau’), helping with a book reading marathon in the second grade and making flowered hats for a Kindergartener’s May Day parade.  Then after school, when the Brownies needed to bake hundreds of different cookies and package them all beautifully for a project, she volunteered to make sure that venture was a success.  When my tennis squad needed a driver, and cheerleader, to take our team two hours away for a match and back, my Mom said, “Sure, let’s go!”  When relatives came from another state, she’d make sure their visit was ‘official’ by happily taking them to two places: Yosemite National Park and Disneyland.  It’s a miracle we had a hot dinner on the table every night when my Father came home from work.  That is ambidextrosity of spirit at work.

Later on in my Girl Scout career, when I decided to join their sorority of sorts, this was, of course, a delicate time in my life, because it was immensely important for me to be ‘one of the girls’.  There was no problem fitting in with meetings after school and such, but when it came to the all important mountain overnight retreats, I was stopped cold by my asthma.  No overnight trips to the mountains for me.  For a ten-year-old girl who just wanted to ‘fit in’ with the other ten-year-old girls, this was a devastating blow that produced many tears.

Because she was ambidextrous and had a heart of quiet understanding, my Mother, without calling any attention to me at all, (and without me even realizing), made arrangements for me to attend the daytime activities at the Girl Scout camp so that I could be ‘one of the girls’, at least during the day, and personally drove me the two hours up and back everyday during camp.  Only someone who has herself, been a ten-year-old girl trying to be like all the other ten-year-old girls, could possibly understand how much that quiet act of love could fill me with joy, and the awe of her ambidextrosity of heart.

This is further illustrated in her love for all people and the ‘More-the-Merrier’ notion she instills in everyone she influences, even though she comes from the state of Maine, whose private family joke is that the, “newborn kittens that crawl out of the oven are not considered biscuits!” (You might have to think about that one for it to sink in.)  My Mom remodeled her 200-year-old home for the expressed purpose of hospitality.  There is always one more place at the table, one more serving, for whoever shows up.  She believes that the ‘More-the-Merrier’ idea is one of the undeniable truths of life, even though, in this ‘zero-sum game’ mentality that is prevalent in the world today, she is knowingly swimming upstream, but what makes her so ambidextrous to me, is that she couldn’t care less.  She is consequently, one of the most joyful people I know, with some of the most restful sleep, due to this fascinating ambidextrosity of heart.

As much as I admired my Mom’s animated energy in my childhood and appreciated her welcoming heart in my youth, it is her ambidextrosity of soul that I am clinging to now.  There are things I have been through in the last few years and especially now, that can’t be spoken about in public; private hurts, struggles and crisis situations that a daughter, who is fortunate, relies on an ambidextrous Mother for, like a secure but invisible underpinning, because she feels she is too ‘out of her depth’ to survive without her Mom’s common sense advice, her nonjudgmental support and her experiential understanding.  When she finds she can depend on her, that she has her ear, this daughter has realized that the most awesome conception of her adult life is that the ambidextrosity of her Mother’s soul is so wonderful that it has somehow incorporated all of her quiddities into me, so that at the very time I need them, they are there.  It’s as if I walked out on the air, but when my foot needed to step on firm ground, terra firma presented itself.  However, if I hadn’t ever needed to walk out, there would’ve been no necessity for the dirt to compact itself. 

The ambidextrosity of my Mother’s soul reaches out to mine, from 3000 miles away and generations apart, and energizes it with what I can only describe as the power of the Love of God, and causes me to become a better person, woman, wife and Mother, myself.  She is one of the mysteries of the Universe to me and I thank God for her and her ambidextrosity everyday. 

For all of that, I say, “Thank you, Mom, I Love You, and Happy Mother’s Day!”