5th
QUIDDITIES
Today is my best friend Debbie’s birthday, whom I have known for nearly 30 years, and a while back, we decided to dispense with swapping gifts, although we still agree to share trips together, since we are both autumn babies and enjoy traveling, especially to Maine in the fall, when the Maple trees turn vibrant colors so amazing that it almost whisks your breath away. We also give each other our friends. For instance, when my husband and I were in a new life season, Debbie and her husband, Tom, gave us four couples from their circle of colleagues, which welcomed us warmly. When her mother died of cancer, my mom essentially adopted Debbie, since we consider ourselves more like sisters than friends anyway. Those are the gifts from the heart that the two of us appreciate giving and receiving exceedingly.
These days, I am endeavoring to write, and have always had a love for words and their meanings. Consequently, I have decided to pen my friend into my blog for her birthday, using one of my favorite words to tell you about this Debbie that I know. It is a funny sounding term, and less well known to boot.
The definition of the word ‘quiddity’ that is most often used is: the essential nature of a thing. After knowing Debra Knight Owen since 1980, and living closely with her through ‘thick and thin’, I have noticed that she has a unique specialty for noticing the hidden needs of hurting people, and moves, usually ‘behind the scenes’, to ease those hurts, by providing practical help in times of distress.
Whereas most people are caught up, understandably, in the busyness of their own lives, and the stresses of providing for their families, my friend has what I call ‘distress radar’, that I contend must have been installed by God, that identifies particular unspoken sufferings. Don’t ask me how, but my Debbie can look into the eyes of a young mother, and just know that she is overwhelmed with anxiety, even when from all outward appearances, no one would ever guess that there was a problem, and with words of calming encouragement, spoken at the right time, can bring peace into the situation. She can agree to house a visiting missionary family with a two year old boy, who speaks no English, and perceive that what he needs, above all things, is a trip to the local zoo, so that he can simply be an ordinary little boy for a day.
Of course, if a heart that truly loved people and wanted to ease the hurts that it uncovered, did not accompany that specialized radar equipment, I maintain that its tracking system would be useless. In Debbie’s case, a nurturing nature is entirely integrated and fully utilized.
I consider myself blessed, to have been a longtime observer of this woman’s caring heart, generously dispensing hugs and kind words to the crestfallen, dinners to recovering surgery patients, calmly sitting in hospital emergency rooms for the hours it takes for an elderly widower to be triaged, and while waiting, talking and praying for many in the room, all of whom become her friends.
I find it interesting that the meaning of the name ‘Debra’ is ‘bee’, since honeybees are social creatures that work tirelessly behind the scenes. The result of their labors is a healing substance that has been utilized for centuries as an antibiotic and in other medical applications. Even in ancient cultures, honey was used as a preservative, and nobody would deny it is sweet to the taste, and good as nourishment for the body.
I have discovered that there is sweetness in my friend that I treasure, like archaic people valued honey and its properties. Her life is a healing, preserving, nourishing force in the lives of people she contacts, but I am above all blessed for the sweetness she brings mine.
Happy birthday, Debbie, my dearest friend, I love you very much.
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24
